


Kicked Out

by SailorLestrade



Category: Guns N' Roses, Mötley Crüe, The Dirt (2019)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Drug Dealer Nikki Sixx, Drugs, M/M, Overdosing, Upset Steven Adler, Worried Duff McKagan, loving boyfriend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:41:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21637537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorLestrade/pseuds/SailorLestrade
Summary: Axl kicks Steven out of the band when Duff's not around.
Relationships: Steven Adler/Duff McKagan
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	Kicked Out

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU where Steven's dismissal from GNR was during Nikki's drug days.

“You’re out,” Axl snapped at Steven. The two had been arguing from the moment Steven had stepped into the rehearsal room.

“What?” Steven looked up at the redhead, who was glaring him down.

“You heard me. You don’t contribute, you’re usually late, and your fucking addiction is getting in the way,” Axl snapped. Steven glanced over at Slash, wanting him to stand up and say Steven wasn’t the only one doing smack or drinking, but the guitarist said nothing. Like sharing a rig meant nothing to him. “Get out.”

“Axl…”

“Get. Out. Steven.” Axl sneered. Izzy and Slash watched the drummer’s shoulders slump as he got his things and walked out of the rehearsal room.

“Jesus Rose,” Izzy sighed. “Way to kick the kid when he’s down.”

“Should’ve been a fucking team player,” Axl sighed. “I got a guy lined up to take his spot.”

“Yeah, but who’s gonna tell Duff when he gets here?” Slash pointed out. Axl paused for a moment then shrugged.

“Not my problem anymore,” Axl shrugged. “Duff’ll get over it. And you guys are gonna fucking love Matt.”

****

Steven walked into the apartment he had been sharing with the bassist for a few years now. What had started out as a roommate situation had turned into something more. Steven half expected to come into the apartment to see Duff on the couch, deciding to skip practice because he could. But he wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

That’s when Steven’s mind started getting the best of him. Duff had been late to practice and wasn’t here because he didn’t want to see Steven. Because he knew Axl was going to kick him to the curb like yesterday’s trash and he didn’t want to see the heartbreak spread on his boyfriend’s face.

That was, if Duff wasn’t breaking up with him too.

Steven dropped the bag that had his drum sticks and other items in it on the floor. He went to the kitchen, seeing some half opened bottles of vodka in the fridge as well as some new ones. He grabbed a brand new one and started downing it. He was sure that Duff would be pissed that he drank all his vodka, but Steven just didn’t want to feel anything anymore. He wanted to drink until he couldn’t move.

But as he emptied the bottle not long after coming home, it did nothing to ease the pain. Instead, it amplified the words Axl had hissed at him. So Steven reached for another bottle and started to chug it. But each drop just made the words louder and louder to the point that Steven just chucked the bottle across the apartment.

The band meant the world to him. He thought he was contributing just as much as everyone else. Yeah, he wasn’t as great of a songwriter as the others, but Axl never wanted to listen to anything he offered, so he just gave up. Axl didn’t write as many of their songs as people thought. He would throw out a word or two but then demanded that his name get added to the credits for his contributions.

The more Steven thought about it, the more upset he got. So he headed over to the phone, took a deep breath, and dialed a number, hoping the other person would be home.

“Yeah?” A voice answered.

“Sixx? It’s Steven. Get your ass over here. Bring the good shit,” Steven told him.

“Why the fuck should I?” Nikki asked. “The good shit is expensive.”

“I’ll pay you,” Steven told him. “Whatever you want. I just know the dealers give you better shit than they give me.”

“Okay, okay. Don’t get your panties in a bunch. Give me like ten minutes. Fucking hell,” Nikki groaned. “You owe me big time Adler.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll get you whatever you want,”

“Those are dangerous words drummer,” Nikki’s voice was deep and sent a shiver down Steven’s spine. It was almost like talking to the devil.

Guess that’s what happens when you screw around with black magic while working on Shout at the Devil. You become the thing you were shouting at.

“I’ll see you soon Sixx,” Steven hung up and ran a hand down his face. He honestly thought Duff would’ve came through the door. He thought that would’ve been a sign not to call Nikki, not to ask for drugs, not to want to get high with this much vodka in his system. But he didn’t. Because he was in on Axl’s plan and they were probably all laughing it up at Steven’s expense.

Steven fiddled with a chain around his neck. Duff rarely played with a pick these days, but back when they first met, after Steven got turned down by London and Duff was fresh to LA and in need of a band, he used one. And he laced it on a chain and put it around Steven’s neck when Road Crew broke up, not long before the two of them remet up with Slash and found Axl and Izzy.

It hung there all the time, but right now, it’s weight felt really heavy. Steven sighed and slipped it off his head, laying it on the coffee table. He kept staring at it until he heard a loud bang on the door. Steven opened the door and saw Nikki standing there, towering over him. Fuck, why did everyone he hung out with have to be so much taller than him.

“Hey,” Nikki gave him a smirk. “You gonna let me in?” Steven stepped to the side to let the bassist in. “Shit man, you guys got a nice set up.”

“Uh, yeah,” Normally, when Steven was hanging out with Nikki, Slash or Robin Crosby were there as well. And it was never at Steven’s place. Nikki flopped down on the couch and put his feet up on the coffee table.

“You know, you pulled me away from a very good bed with a very good partner,” Nikki chuckled.

“Sorry,” Steven mumbled.

“It’s cool. Just anxious to use my favor card at some point,” Nikki smirked.

“Yeah, yeah,” Steven shook his head. “You got it?” Steven reached into the fridge for another bottle of Duff’s vodka before going to sit over by Nikki.

“Not much for foreplay, are you?” Nikki laughed. “Yeah, I got it. Give me a minute. Drink your damn vodka.” Steven took a drink as he watched Nikki get the drug ready. Nikki had done it so many times that he could do it while watching TV or anything else. “Turn on the TV,” Nikki told Steven.

“What? Why?” Steven looked confused.

“I wanna see if there’s anything good on,” Nikki shrugged. He looked over at Steven. "What? You think I came all the way over here to shoot you up and leave? I'm gonna use it and I like to watch TV."

"Oh, ok," Steven nodded. Nikki smiled as he got the drug to the right consistency. Steven flipped the TV on to whatever channel they had had on last.

"Haven't seen you around the hangouts much," Nikki made small talk as he got ready.

"Uh, haven't actually done anything in a month," Steven admitted.

"One month sober? What made you change your mind?"

"Axl kicked me out," Steven sighed. "I'd even been writing songs. He just didn't want to even look at them." Steven looked down at his hands.

"Well, if you knew guitar, I'd convince the others to make us a five piece. But Tommy ain't sharing his drum kit with anyone," Nikki chuckled. "Think you can handle a normal dose?"

"I wouldn't see why not," Steven nodded. A dark smirk spread on nikki's face and Steven started regretting it instantly. "Come here babe."

"Don't call me that," Steven sighed.

"Then quit being so cute," Nikki licked his lips as he tied the tourniquet on Steven's arms. "So many nice veins." Steven just took another big gulp of the clear liquid. He didn't even look as Nikki filled up the needle and injected it into Steven's arm.

And instantly, Steven could feel something wasn't right.

"There we go. All done," Nikki patted his cheek. "Feel better?"

"No not really…" Steven admitted.

"Give it time," Nikki tied up his own arm to inject himself while Steven stood up, stumbling some. "Where you going? You're gonna miss this block of videos."

"I'm not hurling in here," Steven barely could get his feet to listen to him as he tried to take steps. Nikki shrugged and turned his attention to the TV. Steven snagged the chain with Duff’s guitar pick off the table and took a couple shakey steps towards his and Duff’s bedroom when his legs gave out under him and he fell to the floor. He thought he heard a door open, and he thought he heard someone yelling his name, but he was sure it was just Nikki. Steven let his eyes slip closed.

****

Duff had showed up for practice about twenty minutes after Steven had left in tears. He had bought his boyfriend a present to celebrate one month of sobriety, and to cheer him up some. But upon walking into the rehearsal room, Duff’s smile fell when he saw a dark haired man talking with Axl, Slash, and Izzy, and no Steven in sight.

“Who’s this?” Duff asked. Axl glanced up from where he was. Slash watched from the sidelines, but Izzy spoke up.

“This is our new drummer,” Izzy explained. Duff looked over at the guitarist.

“New drummer? But we have a drummer,” Duff didn’t like where this was going.

“Not anymore,” Izzy told him. “Because Mr. W. Axl Rose over there fired the ray of sunshine.”

“Fuck,” Axl whispered under his breath. Matt, the new drummer, took a step back as all 6’3” of Duff towered over the frontman. “H-hey Duff. What’s up?”

“You fired Steven?!” Duff yelled. “Without telling me?”

“You would’ve said no!” Axl shot back. “And he doesn’t contribute! His heroin addiction is getting in the way! I’m tired of him!”

“He hasn’t touched heroin in a month!” Duff screamed. “He didn’t want to say anything yet, because the first few months are always the hardest!”

“He what?” Axl asked.

“That’s why I haven’t seen him around the normal hangouts?” Slash asked Duff. “I thought he was just whipped.”

“He wanted to get better, because he realized how much this,” Duff waved at the instruments and the room. “Meant to all of us! Meant to him!” Duff marched over to an amp case and rummaged through it, finding some things Steven had left behind when Axl kicked him to the curb. Reaching into the bottom, Duff found a notebook that Steven had been so excited to show him.

“What’s that?” Axl asked.

“Steven’s song book,” Duff snapped. “He tried to show you, and you were a dick to him about it! Yeah, his songs aren’t fucking “Welcome to the Jungle” but he could’ve done the filler songs!”

“He...he was writing…” Axl whispered. Slash took the book and flipped through the pages, coming to a song dedicated “To Axl”.

“‘The One You Hated”,” Slash announced. “Dedicated to you Axl.”

“God, were you really that mean to the kid?” Izzy asked.

“I gotta go,” Duff went running towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Axl called after him.

“Who knows what kinda damage you’ve caused, you prick!” Duff ran out to his car, leaving Axl, Slash, Izzy, and the new guy behind.

****

“Come on, fucking move it!” Duff screamed at the traffic. His mind kept wandering back to Steven. His loving and sweet boyfriend who had been trying so hard to better himself. Yeah, Duff wasn’t perfect. He drank too much, but he could see that Steven actually wanted to be sober.

But traffic was moving so slow and he just wanted to get home.

It felt like too many long minutes before he pulled up in front of the apartment building where him and Steven lived. He bypassed the elevator and took the stairs to their floor, where he quickly threw open the door.

“Steven?” Duff called into the apartment, hoping he was here. He saw a headful of black hair sticking up over the top of the couch. Duff made his way over to see Nikki staring blankly at the TV. “Nikki?”

“Oh, heey Duffman,” Nikki smiled at him. “Come to join the party?” Duff saw the needle and rig laying on the table.

“Where’s Steven?” Duff asked.

“I dunno,” Nikki looked around. “Think he went that way.” Nikki motioned vaguely over towards the bedroom, but also to the front door. That wasn’t helping Duff in his search very much.

“Fuck,” Duff was about to turn around and walk out of the house when something in the corner of his eye caught his attention. He turned to find his boyfriend laying on his side, his necklace he always wore laying in his hand. “Steven!” Duff screamed

The bassist ran over to the drummer and turned him onto his back. Steven’s head just swayed with the movement and Duff’s heart stopped. What if he touched his neck and didn’t find a pulse? What if he held his hand over his nose and didn’t feel a breath? What if Steven was gone?

But Duff pushed those thoughts down and shakily touched his fingers to Steven’s neck, finding a very slow and sluggish pulse. But it was there and Duff could take a small breath.

“Sixx!” Duff called over to Nikki. “Fuck! Nikki!”

“What?”

“We need to call an ambulance!” Duff called to the other bassist. Nikki looked over and the look on Duff’s face was enough to help sober him up a little bit.

“What’s wrong?” Nikki asked, pushing himself to his feet. Unlike Steven, Nikki had yet to stop, so a larger dose was nothing to him.

“I think Steven OD’d. Nikki please call for help. Or give me the fucking phone. I’m not leaving him,”

Nikki nodded and brought the phone over to Duff. He knew that in his state, he wouldn’t be able to relay things right. Duff sighed and took the phone, calling for help while holding onto Steven the whole time.

****

Duff sat in the waiting room with his head in his hands. He had filled out the paperwork the best he could, telling the orderlies that Steven had been clean for a month and had been doing so good. Now, he was alone. That was, until Nikki slowly walked up to him with a cup of coffee in each hand.

“Here,” Nikki held out a cup of the mediocre hospital coffee. Duff took it, but didn’t drink it. “I called Slash. I figured you’d want your band here…”

“Axl doesn’t fucking care,” Duff whispered. “If it wasn’t for him, we wouldn’t even be here right now.”

“What happened?” Nikki sat down by the blonde.

“You know how Axl is,” Duff sighed. “Steven tell you that Axl kicked him out?”

“I think so, yeah,” Nikki nodded.

“Steven hadn’t touched heroin in a month. I was so proud of him, he was so proud of himself,” Duff stared down at the coffee. “We should’ve told the others. But he didn’t want them to tease him. And he didn’t want to let them down if he relapsed…”

“I...I’m sorry…” Nikki sighed. “Tommy’s been asking me to stop. Thought about it a couple times. But that’s as far as it got.” He paused. “I should’ve told him no.” Duff didn’t say anything. He wasn’t mad at Nikki, but he wasn’t happy with him either. Nikki would’ve been down right pissed if someone had done that to Tommy. They sat in silence for a little bit before a familiar face walked up to them.

“Duff, how is he?” Izzy asked. Duff noticed Slash and Axl loitering behind him.

“I don’t know yet,” Duff shrugged. “He had a pulse when I found him, but he wasn’t awake.”

“Shit,” Slash shook his head. “He probably took a bigger dose than his body could handle.” Duff just nodded. Nikki looked up at the other three and saw Axl staring at the ground. He could see the guilt radiating off of him.

“I’m gonna head out…” Nikki said, standing. Izzy, Slash, and Duff all looked at him, but not Axl. “Uh, call me when you find something out?”

“Yeah,” Duff nodded. Nikki excused himself from the group. The three took seats in the waiting room.

“I, uh, I looked at the notebook…” Axl said after several moments of silence. “His songs aren’t bad, but…”

“You don’t want him in the band still.” Duff stated, matter of factly.

“Duff…”

“Why don’t you like him?” Duff turned to look at the frontman. “What did he ever do to you?”

“He came into the band and...everyone just fucking loved him...including you…” Axl sighed.

“You kicked him out because you’re fucking jealous?” Duff asked. Axl just shrugged. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I didn’t expect him to OD!” Axl yelled. Duff jumped up.

“If he dies, I hope he haunts your ass,” Duff sneered. “Because of your pettiness, he gave up his sobriety, and he might pay a big price for it.” Axl stood up, ready to smart off to the bassist, when someone’s voice could be heard.

“I’m looking for the family of Steven Adler…”

Duff turned to look at the doctor, standing there in her coat and holding her clipboard.

“That’s me,” Duff walked away from Axl. “Duff McKagan.” The doctor looked at her clipboard and nodded. “Is he…”

“Have a seat and we’ll discuss everything,” She told him. Duff didn’t like the sound of that one bit, but took a seat next to slash, who threw an arm around his shoulder, trying to provide some comfort. “As you already know, Mr. Adler was brought in for an overdose to an opioid.”

“Yeah…”

“As we were pumping his stomach, his heart did stop and we had to use a defibrillator to bring him back.”

“And he…”

“He is alive,” She told him. “We are monitoring him closely, but he is alive and breathing on his own, which is the good thing.” Duff let his head drop into his hands. He had honestly believed that she was coming to tell him that Steven was gone.

“When can we see him?” Izzy spoke up. Duff looked up at the doctor.

“Well, he’s currently in the ICU, so only two people can see him at a time. But I can have a nurse show you there and you can go see him.” The doctor explained. Duff ran a hand down his face.

“Thank you,” He whispered. She offered him a smile before leaving. Once Steven was out of the woods, she would have to speak with them about treatment plans. But right now, he just needed to get to a point where he could open his eyes.

A nurse came to get them to take them to the ICU waiting room, and from there, two could go see the drummer. But as Axl stood, Izzy and Slash stopped him.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea Rose,” Izzy told him.

“What? Why?”

“Well, for starters, we wouldn’t even be here right now if it wasn’t for you,” Slash told him.

“And you just told Duff you fired the kid out of spite,” Izzy added. “I think you should just go home.” Slash nodded in agreement.

“Fine,” Axl rolled his eyes. “Later.” He marched out of the hospital. Duff looked at the two guitarists.

“You didn’t have to do that,” He told them as they made their way to the ICU.

“Eh, we didn’t know he was kicking him out either,” Izzy shrugged. Duff nodded as they were led to the new waiting room.

“Okay, who’s going in?” The nurse asked with a smile.

“You go on Duff,” Slash told the bassist. “You need to see him more than we do.”

“Are you sure?” Duff asked. The two nodded. Duff took a deep breath then and followed the nurse to Steven’s room. He told himself he was prepared for anything. But he realized that wasn’t the truth when he saw his usually lively boyfriend laying completely still in the hospital bed. He had wires attached to him, an oxygen cannula under his nose, and he was so damn pale. This was not the usual ray of sunshine that Duff was used to.

“He’ll probably sleep for awhile,” The nurse told Duff. “A drug overdose is traumatic enough. But he had a lot of alcohol in his bloodstream too.”

“He did?” Duff glanced over at her. He didn’t even notice the empty bottles when he was panicking about keeping Steven alive.

“Yeah,” She patted Duff’s arm. “I’m just a call button away.”

“Thank you,” Duff made his way over to Steven’s bed and took a seat. He carefully reached out and grabbed his hand that wasn’t attached to anything. He brought it to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on the knuckles. “I’m right here babe.”

****

At some point, Duff had fallen asleep. He woke himself up with each check a nurse did on the drummer, but he would fall back asleep after that. It wasn’t until the sun started rising that he officially woke up. With a groan, Duff stood to stretch his back.

“Nice view,” He could’ve sworn he heard Steven say. Turning back around, Duff was greeted with a sleepy eyed Steven Adler. He had a small smile on his face, but he looked exhausted.

“You get your energy from the sun. I just knew it,” Duff laughed a little as he leaned over and kissed Steven’s forehead. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit,” Steven admitted. “I’m sorry.”

“I wish you would’ve waited to talk to me before calling Sixx,” Duff played with his fluffy hair. 

“I...I was scared,” Steven told him. He didn’t have to say anymore. Duff figured it out. He was scared that Duff had agreed with Axl, and he was scared that Duff didn’t want to see him anymore.

“Babe, you never have to be scared as long as I’m around,” Duff cupped his cheek. “I love you. And Axl is fucking worthless.”

“Maybe he’s right though,” Steven shrugged. “I’m never gonna be as good of a songwriter as you guys. I can’t sing. All I do is hit the drums. And Axl has told me several times that I’m not as good as half the drummers on the scene…”

“He wouldn’t know anything good if it bit him in the ass,” Duff told him. “But you’ll be great without him. You’ll get a kickass band, and I’ll be your biggest supporter.”

“Maybe I could steal his bassist sometime,” Steven shrugged. “Because you’re not quitting.”

“You think I’m staying there without you?”

“Yes,” Steven nodded. “Because you’re fucking awesome, and your talents would be wasted on anything less. I mean, look how far we got with Road Crew.”

“Babe…”

“Please?” Steven looked at Duff with those eyes he couldn’t say no to.

“Okay, okay. I’ll stay. But the minute he says something to me, I’m choking him with one of those fucking bandanas,” Duff smirked a little. 

“Fair enough,” Steven laughed a little but his eyes started to fall closed.

“Get some rest babe,” Duff placed a gentle kiss on his lips. “I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

The End


End file.
